Long Distance Caregiving: How To Be There – When You Can’t

What do CD players, travel pillows, cell phones and zany socks have in common?  They're little ways you can have a big impact on a loved one who lives far away.

In our mobile society, it isn’t uncommon for caring family members and friends to live away from aging loved ones. So what happens when an illness strikes, there’s a hospitalization, or a complete transition in living circumstance? There are many ways to keep the connection of love and care strong, even if you can’t be on site to offer help and comfort. Here are some examples that can be used for distant caregivers as well as those nearby:

Comfort Care:  We send care packages to our college kids and military personnel, but we can also send them for our aging loved ones who live away and may be facing challenging times. Consider a small neck pillow. Those hospital beds rarely feel right and just a little extra cushioning can make a difference. How about warm socks? Most hospitals offer anti-slip socks, but what about sending some in a favorite color, or personality-suited. There’s nothing like Gran being the only one walking the halls with bright red striped no-slip socks or slippers while she’s recuperating. Think of her smile when the nurses all stop to ask her about her fun attire and she can tell them her grand children sent them. 

Easy Listening:  Dad or Grandma in the hospital? Moving to a new living situation? Make a compilation CD of songs you have enjoyed together. Send or bring an easy-to-use CD player with it. Label the items you send clearly. If you have to, jazz up the CD player to make it easy to use. You can put a green sticker on the PLAY button and a red one on the STOP button to highlight them if vision is an issue. (You can even paint those buttons with nail polish). Send a CD of yourself or your kids reading or telling stories. Many churches will record their weekly sermons. Help make arrangements for those to be delivered.  Not into CD's?  Send a preloaded MP3 player - just check for ease of use and make sure the earphones are too difficult to manage- specially if hearing aids are involved!

Viewing Pleasure:  Send a family DVD. Make a home movie of your well wishes. Have a bunch of old photos?  Have them put on a DVD – or send a pre-loaded digital frame.  (Again, label it and make sure it’s easy to use.) Send cards and photos - they are looked at over and over again.

Stay Connected: Send a phone. Many times during transitional care, phones are a problem. If you can send an inexpensive (and easy to use) phone with important numbers pre-programmed, you send more then the phone. You leave the message that you want to stay connected and you may relieve a concern for an on-site caregiver who is busy handling a hundred other details of care.

Caring for the Caregiver:  With all these suggestions, make sure to run them past any on-site primary caregiver first to eliminate duplication. And while you’re at it, send that primary caregiver a thank you note and a gift card to his or her favorite coffee shop. It’s always great to feel appreciated!