We all tend to have a love-hate relationship with time which is only magnified while caregiving. Add miles to the equation and heartache often results.
|Time doesn't change... nor does its |
challenge to caregivers...
With the doctors giving him perhaps only days to live, his family felt they had literally one business day to get his affairs in order. The dying man was able to give his family direction in how he wanted things handled, including what casket he’d like, and what details needed to be in his will. Trudging through their shock and grief they did it all – in one day. The son stayed on, waiting. He stayed, and stayed, and stayed. Eventually he was put into a situation no one wants to deal with. He had to return to work and his life hours down the highway, knowing he might not see his father again.
|Miles add to caregiver stress.|
1. Talk it out: When life is ending or health challenges make you feel that you might miss your chance to say something important, don’t wait. Say what needs to be said. Leaving issues unresolved increases stress and makes grieving more difficult. If you are fearful that bringing up a sensitive topic might upset your loved one, realize that it might be on his/her mind too. Or, once you’ve cleared the air, you can tell them how much it meant to you to be able to do that. That in turn, gives them a valuable sense of peace.
We can’t change time, and in crisis situations we can’t do much about the miles between us and our loved ones, but relief from pressure, guilt, and anxiety can be part of your plan as a long distance caregiver.